April 1

I was the apple of her eye.  She loved me beyond imagination.  She would tickle my back until I fell asleep, all the while telling me stories.  She purchased the red fire truck I chose from the top shelf of the hardware store and one year she made sure we had matching navy blue jackets to wear.  On Sunday afternoons, we played church together; she directed the choir and I was the preacher (we even had communion with peanuts and grape juice). She took me shopping, she TRIED to teach me to play the piano, she laughed uncontrollably as we played together in the pool…..well she pretty much did anything I wanted.  Through all of this she taught me about Jesus. She freely shared God’s love and significantly formed me in my faith. When she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, I saw her live her faith. She found her strength in Christ and had courage to face life without fear. One of the hardest things for her to let go of was life itself.  Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t afraid to die. She simply wanted to live. She wanted to live because she lived life to the fullest. She was my Aunt Jane.

I have thought of Aunt Jane so much since being diagnosed with breast cancer.  She taught me how to live and how to die. She died on April 1, 1998. It was quite appropriate that Jane died on April fools day because she loved to joke and laugh.  Her birth into eternity was a Big April Fools jokes to cancer because cancer and death did not have the final word. Jane continued to live and experience the fullness of life on the other side of eternity.

I felt such comfort when they scheduled my surgery for April 1.  My journey towards healing begins in her memory 21 years after she entered the church triumphant.  I will carry her courage, strength and faith with me. I will live as she showed me embracing life without fear and committing to embracing the fullness of life.  

My mom is another woman who lives her faith.  She is the most selfless person I know. She loves all and welcomes all into her life….no matter what.  I am who I am because of her. I have always wanted to be just like her. I didn’t realize we would both be fighting cancer at the same time. Tomorrow is her 3rd chemotherapy treatment. I have watched her courage and joy shine as she embraces cancer and chemo. I will live as she is showing me embracing cancer and not allowing it to take away my joy!

And then there are 3 little girls who remind me of all that is to come.  They are part of me and I am part of them. When I told them about my diagnosis, I told them “your mom is strong as shit.”  It immediately changed their tears into disbelief because I had said a 4 letter word.  I will live with courage and strength, so  they can see my faith in Christ and will embrace life with courage and strength and joy.

April 1, 2019 is in memory of Jane Wooten Hartzog and in honor of Kathy Goforth Wooten, Ella Grace Queen, Mattie Jane Queen, and Kate Marie Queen. Once again the joke is on cancer.     We are all #shebossstrong. And #godsgotthis.

My Aunt Jane

My Mama and My Girls